I won’t say I had high hopes for NBC’s Fear Itself, but I did have moderate ones. And still, I’m disappointed.
After a promising beginning, the first installment of the new anthology series, The Sacrifice, quickly degraded into a melange of same-old, same-old flat characters and sad excuses for plot twists. We won’t even talk about the total lack of scares in the show. I wonder if the people saying how terrifying it was on the official message board cringe when their shadow moves while they’re walking.
The only thing about The Sacrifice (kind of a misleading title once all is said and done) that is anywhere near above average is the makeup effect for the main critter. Everything else, well, if you’ve seen more than one vampire movie in your life, you’ll pretty much figure this one out right away.
Oops, did I spoil that for you by mentioning that this was a vampire story? You’ll thank me, really. Otherwise, like me, you’ll get really excited as four guys, one of them seriously injured in some way, sticking to back roads run into some car trouble and hoof it across the frozen lake to an odd little compound out in the middle of nowhere. Once there, the place seems empty until the very blond, very busty and (shortly) very friendly residents make themselves known.
Right there we have so many different directions this story could go in. Especially with a title like “The Sacrifice”. But either short story writer Del Howison or screenwriter (and series creator) Mick Garris or director Breck Eisner fail miserably at realizing any of those infinitely more terrifying directions. Nope, instead they go for the tried and true “We catch people to feed them to the vampire that lives here” route.
And, man, do we get to that plot point quickly.
Look, I understand there’s only about 42 minutes to work with. But there’s a lot a skilled writer (and a skilled cast) can do in less time than that. Just look at any half-hour episode of the original Twilight Zone and you’ll see. Heck, look at the more modern Tales from the Crypt, they only had half an hour, too. The new Outer Limits did amazing things with an hour time slot, as does the current scariest show on TV, Supernatural.
In fact, the people who put together this installment of Fear Itself could learn a lot from the cast and crew over at Supernatural.
Lesson 1: Let your quirky characters shine! This is especially true if we’re never going to see them again. In the case of The Sacrifice, that would be Lemon, the brother who’s just along for the ride and always screws stuff up. Not only do we only get to hear a handful of lines from him (most of which are the same thing repeated over and over), but he never gets the chance to do anything. OK, one thing, but we can all guess what that is (hint: it’s right out of From Dusk till Dawn, just like most of the rest of the plot). Sad thing is, he’s the most interesting character in the entire show.
Lesson 2: If you’re going to rush to get to the point, it better be a good one. There have been entire episodes of Supernatural where the viewer (and the characters) aren’t sure exactly what’s going on until the last minute. That builds tension, something this show just didn’t have any of after the first ten minutes.
Lesson 3: Give the characters a fighting chance before you take it away. Really, it’s scarier that way. If the characters think they have everything under control and then suddenly realize they missed something important, they have good reason to panic and the audience has good reason to cringe–in a good way.
Lesson 4: If you’re going to go with tried and true legends and done-it-all-before monsters, you sure as hell better come up with at least something new. Supernatural does it all the time. Yeah, we’ve all heard of Bloody Mary and that guy with a hook for a hand who kills people in their cars and every other urban legend they dredge up for the show. But there’s always some new twist they add to it that makes it worth watching. The Sacrifice just didn’t do that.
I could go on, but I’d most likely be wasting my breath.
The good news is, Fear Itself is an anthology show, so the team that made The Sacrifice won’t be back to bring us more crap. No, next week we’ll have a whole new team bringing us crap. Or not.
I really hope next week is better.
But I’m afraid I’ll be disappointed.
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